Funny article (but oh so true!)
From:
http://martialarts808.com/Ninjas/index.php/topic,4.msg9.html#msg9
How to Slow Down or Completely Halt Your Martial Arts Training Progress by Sensei J. Richard Kirkham B.Sc.
Over the years, I've seen very successful techniques in slowing down martial arts and self-defense training to an almost complete stop. I've listed some of these techniques below, perhaps you're already practicing some of these....
YeahbuttsNote the double t. Now this is a very common highly used martial arts training slow down technique. I've seen tournament champions as well as martial art wannabees use it. Here's what you do....
As soon as a fellow martial artist, whether instructor or training partner begins explaining a technique, utilize a blank, yet polite stare, BUT DON'T ACTUALLY LISTEN. Actually listening has the detrimental potential of improving your martial arts skills. Remember, we're trying to avoid this in this article.
To further the technique only pretend to listen to about half of the explanation. Take the valuable time while the martial artist is explaining the technique to develop a reason that it won't work. This will save you from actually having to listen to the entire explanation of the martial arts technique and gives you more time to figure out a reason NOT to add it to your repertoire. Sure sure you'll be hit by the technique since you don't train with it or against it, but similar techniques can be utilized to develop excuses why you were hit, there's no need to practice the technique. I assure you this would only speed up your martial arts training and improve your skills.
Remember, much like the namesake of this technique, always start your conversation after pretending to listen with
“Yeah but....”
Generalizations of Martial Arts and Martial Sports StylesTHIS will save you anywhere from hours to months of research in attempting to learn how other martial arts systems and martial arts sports such as boxing and mixed martial arts may utilize techniques differently and indeed utilize techniques you may not even know about or practice.
This technique works best when the person you're discussing the martial arts style or sport knows as little as you do about it. I've seen this done quite successfully, let me assure you, it's a proven technique for slowing down your martial arts training. Here's how the technique works....
Pick a martial arts style or sport, let's say boxing. Start your time saving and research saving conversation like this,
“Here's what I'd do against a boxer....”
Now, it's important that you justify what you would do with further generalizations. Start this statement with this,
“Boxers always....”
NOW YOU'RE JUSTIFIED! See how much simpler that is than actually training with the martial arts style or sport? You've just saved yourself a great deal of time and progress. Now remember, if you accidentally do end up training with someone from another style and you get hit, don't worry, just utilize a variation of the yeahbutt technique to develop a reason you were hit. That way you won't have to train against that technique for which you have weak defenses.
Decisions Based on Short ExperiencesThis is different that generalizations since you did accidentally get a little experience with a style. This technique by the way has been developed almost to a science by a visually based observational nonphysically interactive type of martial artist commonly referred to as the “Monitor Martial Artist”.
This is a huge time saver! What the monitor martial artist does is watch a two to four minute online social video presentation and figure out how to sometimes not only defeat the martial artist in the video, BUT THE ENTIRE MARTIAL ARTS STYLE! Think about it! No need to actually develop interest in an alternate means of executing a technique. You just watch a couple minutes of video!
Here's how the technique works. It's best to use a social video media so you may build your self-esteem by commenting on the video. Watch, a small portion of the two to four minute video, by utilizing above techniques there's no need to wait till the video is concluded to begin drawing conclusions. As soon as you see something you believe is negative in the video, stop the video, pull your keyboard from your drawer and begin typing this....
“In 2.24 he was completely wide open! I'd have....”
And that's it! You've now saved hours of time by posting questions inquiring about the technique in 2.24. No need to perform internet searches or even find people in your area available for practicing. The best part about this is the support you get from fellow Monitor Martial Artists! Thus your self-esteem has been boosted, you've gained comrades who think as you do, thus enabling this technique to execute an almost complete halt to improving your martial arts skills!
ConclusionI believe you're starting to get the idea of how to utilize these martial arts training slow down techniques;
1. DO NOT have an open mind.
2. Pretend to listen just long enough to be polite.
3. Be negative as quickly as possible.
4. Generalize as much as possible.Any single technique utilized here will have the benefit of slowing down your martial arts training. When combined, you can potentially become completely static in your training. You'll never have to worry about learning anything new again.
About The AuthorSensei J. Richard Kirkham is a dual certified teacher. He's been in martial arts over 36 years.
Sensei Kirkham offers the techniques in this very article so you DO NOT have to purchase his well received instant download book and video Step by Step Learning Internal Energy Strikes which is guaranteed to increase your striking power
http://newbieservices.com/MAForum/index.php?topic=20.msg23#msg23 These same techniques should also work on not getting his Free Punching and Kicking Power Tips
http://martialarts808.com/PPTips/ 
